piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
