Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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