so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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