now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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