those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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