Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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