we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
