I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
