Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
