What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
