I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
