Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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