Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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