How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
