my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
