ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
