someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
