Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
