We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
