ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
