He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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