i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
