You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
