you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
