Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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