What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
