singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
