White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
either way he was missing a nipple.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Alive.
So much puke
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
