Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
