He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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