Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
