2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
