go do what you do best...puke behind churches
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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