I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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