listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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