Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
