Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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