I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
