that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
