i permit you to call me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
