It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
