my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
