sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Randomize
