using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
