I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i've created a new STD.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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