we're blogging at a bar
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Randomize
