I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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