Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
