So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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