so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
