Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
