All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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